Eulogy for My Aunt

My aunt passed away last month after a long and painful battle with cancer. She had breast cancer first – diagnosed in 2006 - and underwent chemotherapy and radiation after a lumpectomy. What we didn’t know then was that she probably would have been MUCH better off if she had skipped the radiation treatment completely. Ultimately, what literally consumed her and claimed her life was a radiation-induced sarcoma that she first pointed out to the doctors on the one year anniversary of the completion of all of her treatments for the breast cancer. Her oncologist had just congratulated her and had told her she thought she was cancer-free when my aunt pointed out the small pea-sized lump under her arm. She didn't live to see another full year finish. I have many, many problems with the way her case was handled by the doctors and will one-day vent my misgivings, I am sure – but not today. My uncle asked me to deliver the eulogy at her funeral mass.

We are all here today to pay our respects to an amazingly beautiful person, whose time here with us was cut far too short.

My Aunt Lina was one of the most wonderful people that I will ever know. She was one of my favorite people.

She was full of life – feisty – and fun. When she walked in a room, you knew. To me, it was like someone turned a light on when she arrived. She had a wonderful smile and a laugh that couldn’t help but elicit laughter from others. My favorite laughs were the ones that seemed virtually uncontrollable. She had a knack for recounting stories and would quickly have us all in stitches. She loved children and children seemed to love her back because she was so much fun. She had a special relationship with her dogs, most recently Sebastian and Oliver, as well as with the pets of others. She ran in the mornings and kept herself in great physical condition – My sister tried to run with her once and couldn’t keep up. I never dared to try. She had a distinct personal style and a heightened sense of aesthetics – her elaborate table settings for gatherings, her skill at the art of presentation, her lush gardens, her amazing organization, her personal dress and demeanor, her beautiful handwriting – she had a way about her that was so very special.

But yet, my aunt had a way of making other people feel special themselves. If you remember the way that she looked at you when you spoke with her and the way that she listened intently to everything that you said to her – you know. She really cared. She knew the people that she came across in her daily life by name – neighbors, receptionists, butchers, florists, waiters, sales clerks – and she usually knew something about them all because she took the time to converse with them and to get to know them. She was also amazingly thoughtful. She would call to make sure you were alright. She would clip articles from magazines and newspapers that she thought you may want to see and send them in the mail to you with little notes. She never forgot a birthday and was always so diligent about sending occasion cards and thank yous. She would sometimes make food magically appear in your refrigerator. She tended to the family’s gardens and plants because she had the magic touch – and was generally consciously or subconsciously always on the lookout for ways to help us all out. My Aunt Lina took care of us all. Just a few weeks ago in between hospital stays, she was worried because I had been getting headaches and she wanted me to see a doctor. She was the one stuck lying in bed with a laundry list of medications to take and she was worried about me. That’s my Aunt Lina.

She retired over a decade ago from her career in dietetics and had the opportunity to spend her days doing what she wanted. There was always something that she had to do. She was passionate about many things. Her meticulously cared-for garden was the envy of many. She enrolled in several literary and history classes. She performed charitable work. She made every holiday special for the family. She took care of the many children in the family in any way that she could – watching us, playing with us, carting us around, cheering for us. She was so very generous with her time as well as with her possessions. Though my aunt almost never asked for any help for herself, she was always offering her aid when she recognized an opportunity to make a difference. I think her greatest passion was for her husband, family and her closest friends. It seemed that there was nothing that she wouldn’t do for us. I had to stop complimenting her on items that she had because if she thought I liked things, she would likely try to give them to me. It seemed that no possession meant more to her than the joy that it might bring to someone she loved.

After her retirement, I remember thinking that over the years, my aunt had become a great example of how to go through life on a daily basis.

Love people deeply and be mindful of them.
Be passionate about your interests.
Be generous with your time and your possessions.
Appreciate the aesthetics… and…
Advocate peace and harmony – especially within your family.

Here lies a woman who was brave enough to cross an ocean and immigrate to a new country alone – with no other family here in Chicago to comfort her. A woman who was bold and smart – who guided the many interns who were in her program at the hospital over the years and the many of us here who were lucky enough to spend time with her. A woman so loved that her family followed her here from the Philippines. A woman who loved deeply – who cared for many of us even though we didn’t always deserve her.

Until her passing on Wednesday, I never knew a day without her unconditional love. She was my role model and one of my greatest friends. I am forever grateful to have walked in the light of her love. I will miss her every day for the rest of my life. I know that no one that knew her will ever forget her. Let us all remember her and the way that she touched our lives.

Rest well, T. We will carry you forever in our hearts. We love you.

A Tale of Two Snowmen

Behold! Ice Cream Snowmen meant for dessert! Each one of us gets our own ice cream snowman in our favorite flavor. Last year’s Christmas snowman looks healthy and quite appetizing. This year’s snowman… is pretty pathetic looking. I still ate him – and he still tasted very good – but he clearly had had a tough go of it - like the rest of us in the past year. Guess the fate of the snowmen is just a sign of the times. This year, my mother has had a lot on her mind besides the holidays. She neglected to move the snowmen inside the house and into her freezer in a timely manner. We all had quite a good laugh at the poor snowmen’s expense.

She’s not the only person whose mind was somewhere else though. Even though our dinner was exceptionally good, I failed to photograph any of it before the family had parceled it all out. I have photos of half-full platters of food (or less in many cases). I didn’t even get a good photo of the standing rib roast. I am happy to report though, that everyone enjoyed the meal and that my entire family was able to make it. In the end, that’s all that really matters. Hoping for better looking snowmen in our future!

I hope you all have a wonderful holiday season and a great 2009!

Wandering Aimlessly

This week, I find myself in New York City again. My aunt (who lives in Chicago) had surgery here before Thanksgiving and has been in the hospital or has been staying here as an outpatient since then with my uncle. With the exception of a few days last week, I’ve been here with them. Her situation isn’t the greatest and I find myself here to provide distractions for her.

We’ve kept to a strange schedule since she was released from the hospital. She needs her rest and I’ve instructed them to just call me when they are up and ready for the day. Usually, they’re not ready to face the day until after 10 am. For the last three mornings here in Manhattan, I have found myself wandering the city aimlessly until I have to meet them. I’ve left my hotel room at around 7 am each morning and have just let my feet lead the way. I’ve ducked into shops and restaurants and watched the people and places that just happened to be along my path. There’s been no planning involved – no goal – just movement. For as loud as it can sometimes be in this city, I’ve found these morning outings to be strangely peaceful. When my cell phone rang, I would head in their direction and meet them wherever they needed me to be. Then, my real day would begin. These morning wanderings by myself have been somewhat surreal.

One morning, I found myself in the lower level of 30 Rockefeller Plaza standing in the Starbuck’s line behind Dan Abrams – who’s much smaller and strangely more handsome in person than on tv. The girl who was passing out the beverages asked him what his name was so she could locate his drink and I wondered if he found it comforting that she didn’t recognize him. I had breakfast watching people ice skating on the Rockefeller Center ice rink and felt joy for a white-haired man who was taking beginner figure skating lessons. I’ve found myself as far North as 62nd Street and Lexington and as far South as 31st Street and 7th Avenue during one walk. The interesting sight of the morning was of three large camels walking down West 51st Street with their handlers. I also happened to be walking by the “Today Show” set during the segment with Carrie Fisher and wondered where her legs had gone when I glanced through the window (they’re still there – she was just sitting oddly). I walked through stores that opened early for holiday shopping and was glad to see huge crowds browsing the goods. I walked out in the rain and watched everyone rush around with their umbrellas. It’s interesting to watch people walking through a steady rain. It seems to amplify what’s going on in their heads and hearts.

I never feel like a tourist here in Manhattan – and for that, I am grateful. I don’t think my morning walks would have been as therapeutic as they seem to have been if I felt at all like a tourist. I’ve spent a lot of time in this city over the years. My first visit here was before my first birthday. In my early 20’s, I met my husband here. I love it here. It was comforting to get lost amongst the rest of humanity but to never feel lost at all. During these hours that seem to have been stolen away for myself, the world around me didn’t need me and I was operating on autopilot. I’m grateful to the city for enabling me to wander without a physical destination in mind and for helping me to get my mind to a good place so that I could be more helpful to my family. I guess I wasn’t truly wandering aimlessly.

What's Up With the Food Pics?

Anyone who's browsed my flickr stream has probably noticed that I tend to take a lot of pictures of food. No, I'm not a food critic - nor am I involved in any profession involving the production or consumption of food. So what's up with the food pics?

I started to wonder that myself the other day when a friend posted a photo of her meal on Facebook and in the caption wrote that the photo was an homage to me. Me? Oh dear God, do I really take that many food photos? Sadly, yes. Yes I do.

I traced the food photo thing back to September 2007 when I took part in the "10 for 30" group on flickr organized by @banannie and @AnnOhio. We posted ten photos a day for 30 days. It was a nice way for the members to see what our friends saw in their daily lives. That block of 30 days was a nice lull in my year and I was home for most of it. On day 1, one of my photos was of my dinner at the Temple Bar in Porter Square. That's the first "food picture" that I ever posted for public consumption. Previous to that, the only instances of food in my stream were a couple of wine bottles and empty dinner plates in the background of a photo from Napa.

Apparently, folks like food photos. They comment on them and ask for them. Certain people (*ahem*) become more than a tad unhappy with me when I don't take or post food photos. Apparently, I like food photos too since I take so many. I don't take photos of the great majority of my meals at restaurants or at home. It's clearly not a good thing to whip out my camera in certain places or with certain dining companions. My husband, in particular, isn't fond of the practice in public, so I don't do it much when we are dining together as a courtesy to him. As he is my primary dining companion, there are some really gorgeous meals that have gone unphotographed. The one that really sticks out in my mind was dinner at Nobu in Hong Kong because every single course was really, really gorgeous... but that's another story. Most of the time though, it doesn't even occur to me to take a picture until after the meal has been consumed.

That all being said, when I look back on my flickr stream of photos from the year it's clear that I mark time with people, places and food. I think we all do. I can always ask my sister and cousin if they remember the Christmas that my aunt served cold mashed potatoes and the answer is always "yes." Food takes me to memories of specific places. Awesome Prawn Sandwich? London. Coney Dogs? Detroit. Killer Shrimp Katsu Curry? Tokyo. Pringles and bottled soda at midnight? Cancun. Where did I order room service just so I could have more butter? Paris. Fried Twinkies? Santa Cruz. Sadly, I don't have photos of those foods. I kind of wish I did.

Food presentation is an art - but once you've consumed it, it's just gone. This year, we spent Thanksgiving at a hospital in New York City with my aunt, who was recovering from surgery. I have a photo of my sad looking cafeteria tray with a cheeseburger, french fries and a slice of pecan pie on it. I went back a year in my photos and found Thanksgiving 2007 at my aunt's house when she prepared a huge Standing Rib Roast, Stuffed Salmon, Chicken Vesuvio, Fingerling Potatoes with Parmesan and Dill, Green Beans and Kale and Pasta. She had great appetizers too and for dessert, we had Pumpkin Pie, Banana Cream Pie and Ice Cream. I'm glad that I took those photos last year because they were strangely comforting. They reminded me of a better time when we were all happy, healthier and together and helped me to look forward to a time when we can have a nice holiday meal like that one at her house again.

Even though at times I have thought that I might discontinue the practice of snapping photos of food, I don't think I will. In fact, I may do it more often ;)

Be Careful What You Wish For...

We were seriously craving Coney Dogs last night before the Red Sox game and went out in search of them. We found a Chili Cheese Dog at the Halfway Cafe in Marlborough, MA... they call it a Safari Dog with Chili and Cheese. It's a One Pound all-beef Pearl hot dog. It normally comes with a serving of Halfway Fries... but since we had Halfway fries with chili and cheese for our appetizer, I opted for Mac & Cheese. Half of that Safari Dog and 2 beers later, I rolled home. Not exactly the kind of Coney Dog I had in mind, but it was enjoyable nonetheless.

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Disappointment

Six weeks without a blog post... and only a few sparse photos posted to my flickr account... what gives? I was wondering the same thing yesterday. Considering what a crazy six weeks it has been in the world, I'm a tad surprised. But then again, I'm not. During the last six weeks, I've been disappointed several times over... and I don't usually feel compelled to write when I have negative energy. The other reason I have stayed quiet is that when there are big things that weigh on my mind, the smaller items that I may find myself writing about seem even smaller and ridiculously insignificant. Then, the act of writing about them seems a petty exercise.

So this post is dedicated to disappointment. I'm not angry - I'm just disappointed. Dear reader, please forgive me for this interruption in my usually pretty darn happy blog. If I get the disappointment off of my chest, perhaps I can get back to posting pictures of mundane things and writing about happy ordinary life.

The biggest disappointment for the period is the status of my aunt's cancer. Some may remember that I took a year-long blogging hiatus the first time my aunt had breast cancer. After a lumpectomy, aggressive chemotherapy, radiation and drug therapy, she was told her prospects were very, very high for a cancer-free life. Well, it's a year later and her cancer is back, has moved and may cause the amputation of her right arm. The family is currently exploring other treatment options while she undergoes radiation twice daily in the meantime.

Another disappointment is in people in general. No, not everyone is disappointing... but in the last few weeks, it's been pretty bad.

The current economic crisis facing the global economy didn't create itself and people can't correctly point to one political figure and blame the entire situation on him or her. There were a lot of people who had a hand in what happened. A whole heck of a lot of people! And this situation took several years to develop... and spanned several presidential terms. I find myself disappointed at the finger-pointers among us - because they clearly don't have enough fingers to point at all of the culpable parties. Economies don't turn on a dime - it takes time for things to make their way through the system. I'm also disappointed in the U.S. Congress who took an emergency bill meant to stabilize the credit markets and had to wrap it in all sorts of additional inducements to get it passed. That wasn't exactly the time for politicking, but who's to tell them that? I'm disappointed in the banks that bastardized the relaxed lending guidelines and loaned money to high-risk borrowers... and in the many people responsible for the relaxation of the lending guidelines in the first place.

Most of my disappointment as it relates to the economic crisis, however, is in the borrowers themselves. Everyone likes to point their finger at "Wall Street" and the banks. They're easy targets but they're only half of the story. Loan documents are very straight-forward and everyone is told from a very young age to be careful and read any legal document that you sign. Mortgages clearly state the initial interest rate and payment. If they have adjustable rates, the escalation in the rate is clearly stated as is the date when the new interest rate is to start. There aren't any secrets between a lender and borrower - it's all in black and white. I know that there are thousands of cases where people run into adverse circumstances which may cause them to fall short of their obligations. These people have my sympathy. However, I have a problem with those among us who have been financing a lifestyle well above their means with credit. So I have a hard time finding much compassion for the guy who suddenly can't afford the huge house he purchased five years ago because of the new interest rate... or for the landlord who's defaulted on the loan for his apartment building even though his renters are all current on their rent. Rather, I'd like to take my turn at kicking them in the nuts. It's not popular to want to take your turn kicking the guy that defaulted on his mortgage down the street. But then again, personal responsibility isn't something that we as a country have done a good job of beating into the heads of our children - and around that corner lies more of the same disappointment. The people who never got themselves in an over-leveraged position have to pay the price just as the irresponsible borrowers do in the end - the economic machine doesn't discriminate between them. Thanks for nothing! There are many people who have lived responsibly and within their means who will suffer tremendously because of the irresponsibility that has transpired across the globe. Jobs have been lost and many, many more will be lost... and that's just the tip of the iceberg.

I'm also disappointed in the way that the U.S. election is playing out in the minds and out of the mouths of many people in all forms of media. Mind you, my voter registration card reads "Unenrolled" for a reason - neither party represents my views entirely. The spin that's been floating around the airwaves and Internet during these weeks leading up to the U.S. election has been sickening... from both sides of the political spectrum. Frankly, I've found both of the mainline party tickets to be disappointing in their own ways... but the vitriol that I witness daily on Twitter and Friendfeed in particular, is just ridiculous. There's actual hatred for the other party - and, with a few exceptions, respect for the differing views of others seems non-existent. Personally, I find a person's political affiliation to be akin to their religion - a person believes in certain political principles just as they believe in their religious principles. With religion, we try to co-exist and respect the fact that the guy sitting next to you may not hold the same beliefs that you do. With politics, if the guy sitting next to you doesn't hold the same political beliefs as you, somehow he or she is not as enlightened or as educated and is probably not informed enough to deserve to vote? Puh-lease. The immense amount of negative energy circulating is really disturbing. I have consciously minimized my time on social media sites in the last few weeks because of this and because I happen to like the people that I follow as people and really don't want their bad behavior during the election season to taint that. If I un-followed every person that has said or spread something disrespectful in the last month, it would be sad.

What's also disappointing about the way people are behaving pre-election is that many don't seem to be able to see the forest for the trees. When I ask people why they are voting for one ticket or the other, their reasons seem to rarely have anything to do with political doctrine. Even the things being tossed around online by people to sway the undecideds in the group are sideshows to the meat of the matter. That's fine - it's their right to vote for whomever they want for whatever reason they want. I just find it disappointing that some people base their voting decisions on ancillary items - like general likability, number of marriages or gender. I'd prefer to hear answers to questions like the following: Do you favor a big federal government that has a hand in many things, or a smaller federal government that does not? How do you feel about the redistribution of wealth? How do you think the U.S. involvement in Iraq should be concluded? - or should it be? Do you favor Capitalism or Socialism? - and how much weight are you assigning to the answers to each of these items? I could go on - but I'm sure you get the idea.

Another disappointing item that I am going to mention is the amount of un-American talk that has been circulating. It's not just the people who actually have the nerve to publicly say that they are embarrassed to be Americans. Those people really don't deserve the freedoms and protections of this country if they are so embarrassed by it. They are wearing their ignorance and ungratefulness on their foreheads for the rest of us to see. But it's not just them. I find it disturbing that people actually hold financial success against candidates for office. Frankly, I don't care if the McCains own seven homes and a fleet of cars - more power to them. Whatever happened to the American dream? People are actually implying that because a family has wealth they cannot possibly relate to the issues of the common man? That's absurd. Nobody has brought this up as it relates to the Kennedy's or the Kerry's. This is a country of great opportunity and freedom. Some grasp the opportunities and some do not; everyone makes their own choices in life and we're free to make them in the United States of America. I'm not going to fault someone for their legitimate financial success - that would be un-American.

Lastly, the Chicago Cubs have disappointed me and the rest of their loyal fans yet again. That is a disappointment that I have, sadly, come to expect. To some extent, a lot of the non-medical disappointment that I have experienced over the last few weeks was somewhat expected. It's just been so in my face all at once that the letdown has been greatly magnified.

Now that all of that is off of my chest, I return you to my regularly scheduled blog. How 'bout those Red Sox?!

Eating My Way Through August (For Good Luck, Rub My Tummy)

In regards to diet and exercise, my behavior in the month of August bordered on sinful gluttony. I can fully admit that in those respects, I acted somewhat recklessly. I did not deny myself any morsel that I wanted to consume on the grounds of something being unhealthy or “too much.” Clearly, as I look back on the month, the extra pounds which have appeared on my scale at home are fully explained. I’m not even a little surprised. I knew exactly what I was doing.

We weren’t home for the great majority of the month. I never seem to work out when I’m away from home. Clearly, this is sub-optimal, but it’s just the way it’s been.

I started the month by flying to Chicago to drop off our dog with my in-laws for the month. I spent time with the family while there and had the opportunity to eat some of my favorite foods that I can’t replicate in Boston (unless I have it shipped from Chicago).

The day after flying back to Boston, I flew out to Orlando, Florida for a short vacation at Disney World. My husband and I don’t have any children but we run around that resort like a couple of little kids with their allowance in their pockets. Though we did get a lot of walking under our belts there, we consumed more than enough to offset any benefit from the exercise. We ate and drank our way through the countries at Epcot’s World Showcase. We snacked on all things snackable. I’d never had a cream cheese-filled pretzel before that week when I snagged one at the Magic Kingdom (I don’t really recommend them – they’re a tad sweet). We went to Fulton’s Crab House at Downtown Disney twice – once for dinner and once for a late “snack” at the bar (that turned into an unintended additional meal). I also seemed to consume ice cream whenever possible. Thinking it was the heat…

Two days back in the office for my husband, and then we left for our vacation in Maine. I adore Maine and will miss our drives up there greatly when we move away from New England. A day was not spent in Maine on which I did not have lobster and/or fried clams during a meal. We sought out little gourmet shops for wines and cheeses to enjoy on our various balconies. Freeport, Bar Harbor, Camden, the Kennebunks – we worked our way down the coast and managed to find great food everywhere we went. Our last dinner in Maine was at the White Barn Inn, which always makes me very happy – but also very, very full. It was an appropriate end to that vacation. That was the only actual dining reservation I made during the entire month of August.

Two days back in the office for my husband and then we left to close out the month in Chicago to spend time with our family and to pick up our dog. On Friday, we even had a small family wine tasting – four people, six bottles of wine and a lot of meats and cheeses. My mother had a party for our anniversary on Saturday.

We finally returned home yesterday and I’ve decided to start behaving myself in September. No excessive eating or drinking until my body bounces back from the damage inflicted in August – and the rest of the summer, for that matter. My clothes don’t fit properly anymore and I look puffy in the mirror. It’s back to the gym and time for a shift in thinking. I’m starting to resemble the Buddha on one of my favorite t-shirts and though that may work just fine for some people, it doesn’t feel good for me. Do I regret any of the excess from the last few weeks? Not at all. You’ve got to pay to play. Time to pay up. It was worth it.

Some of the Folks Who Fed Me in August:

Starbuck’s - Various locations
Yu’s Mandarin – Schaumburg, IL
Lou Malnati’s – Park Ridge, IL
Giordano’s – Rosemont, IL
McCormick & Schmick’s – Skokie, IL
Winberie’s Restaurant, Oak Park, IL
Moretti’s – Chicago, IL
Portillo’s – Park Ridge, IL
Superdawg – Chicago, IL
YardHouse – Glenview, IL
The Original Pancake House, Park Ridge, IL
Chicken Inn, Niles, IL
Taco Burrito King – Niles, IL
Potbelly Sandwich Works – Park Ridge, IL
Village Creamery – Niles, IL
Brown Cow Ice Cream Parlor – Forest Park, IL
Binny’s (Gourmet Counter), Chicago, IL
Bockwinkel’s, Chicago, IL
Tony’s Italian Deli & Subs, Chicago, IL
Lobster Cooker, Freeport, ME
The White Barn Inn, Kennebunk, ME
Mabel’s Lobster Claw, Kennebunkport, ME
Treehouse Café, Kennebunkport, ME
Cappy’s Chowder House, Camden, ME
Bay View Lobster, Camden, ME
Inn at Sunrise Point, Camden, ME
Café This Way, Bar Harbor, ME
Rupununi, Bar Harbor, ME
2 Cats, Bar Harbor, ME
Lompoc Café and Brew Pub, Bar Harbor, ME
Testa’s, Bar Harbor, ME
The Reading Room, Bar Harbor, ME
Stewman’s Lobster Pound, Bar Harbor, ME
Freeport Wine and Cheese, Freeport, ME
Dock Square Coffee House, Kennebunkport, ME
Sage Market, Camden, ME
Joe’s Smoke Shop, Bar Harbor, ME
Bayside Liquors, Bar Harbor, ME
Ben & Bill’s Chocolate Emporium, Bar Harbor, ME
CJ’s Big Dipper, Bar Harbor, ME
The Alternative- A Community Market, Bar Harbor, ME
Fulton’s Crab House, Downtown Disney, WDW, FL
San Angel Inn, Epcot, WDW, FL
Sci-Fi Dine-In Theater Restaurant, Disney Hollywood Studios, WDW, FL
Ghirardelli’s, Downtown Disney, WDW, FL
1900 Park Fare, Grand Floridian Hotel, WDW, FL
New Hampshire State Liquor Store, Hampton, NH
Lotus Blossom, Sudbury, MA
Water Lily, Wayland, MA
Mr. Bartley’s Burger Cottage, Cambridge, MA
Russo & Sons, Watertown, MA
Gordon’s Fine Wine and Liquor, Watertown, MA
Kappy’s Liquors, Sudbury, MA
Mel’s Commonwealth Café, Wayland, MA
Bruegger’s Bagel Bakery, Weston, MA

Girls and Pirates

My husband and I were at Walt Disney World for a long weekend this past weekend. While there, we decided to get temporary tattoos. It’s totally silly – we know - but we derive enjoyment from the good laugh and running around like 10 year olds with pocketfuls of allowance money. The tattoos only last a week or so.

He selected a nice airbrush of Stitch from “Lilo and Stitch.” I had to laugh because he’s not a small man and Stitch is pretty cute. Ha. I selected a skull and crossbones with squid tentacles – which isn’t really something I would pick out for myself on a permanent basis. I guess I have a tattoo commitment phobia - among other commitment phobias. The idea of permanence is a bit daunting for me.

While the attendant was administering our tattoos, we were talking with one of the vendors from a neighboring cart. He was a very nice man who seemed to be in his late 50’s. He asked which tattoo I had selected and I told him. He shook his head, looked at my husband and said, “What is it with girls and pirates? They all want pirates. Why do girls all go for the bad guys?” Then he asked me, “Whatever happened to Prince Charming?” I looked at him, laughed and said, “Oh, I married Prince Charming!” That elicited quite the laugh – but I meant it.

As we don’t have children, my husband is the only person on the planet to whom I consciously chose to make a lifelong commitment. I chose well.

Happy Anniversary!

Insect Day

Yesterday also happened to be the day I was visited by a few different insects for no apparent reason. Not bad ones, thankfully. Two of them hung around long enough for me to take pictures too.

Unfortunate or Fortunate

Yesterday morning, my husband and I were greeted with the sight of our mailbox lying in the middle of our driveway instead of being atop the nice mailbox post on which is normally rests. Good morning!

Upon inspection, it didn’t look like anyone took a bat to the box. There were no visible marks on any of its sides. The post was leaning at a slight angle, so I figured that someone ran into the mailbox overnight with a car. No note was left. Savages!

The baseboard on which the box rests was split into three pieces so I knew I had to replace that. The mailbox itself was fine and I could have reattached it to the post after replacing the baseboard – but I didn’t.

I’ve never liked that mailbox. It was here with the house when we bought it. Yes, it’s just a boring little black mailbox, what’s not to like? Well, it’s a little smaller than I would like and occasionally, it leaks when it rains. It’s a tad on the flimsy side too (you know how car doors all thud differently? I didn’t like its thud.) Also, ours is the only mailbox for a mile without a house number on it. Sure, I could go and buy a few numbers at the hardware store and stick them on, but I never liked the look of that so I never bothered.

I had already determined that I was going to change the mailbox “when I had the time” – and we all know what happens to those projects. Strangely enough, I had already chosen the mailbox’s successor – and it came with customized lettering for the address. I had just never gotten around to ordering it (in six years.)

So yesterday was the day. Thankfully, I didn’t have anything urgent planned and my day was very flexible. I called Walpole Woodworkers to see if they had the mailbox I wanted at the location near my home and they did. I jumped in my car, bought the mailbox and then went to the hardware store to have a board cut for the base. I came home and removed what was left of the old base and installed the baseboard and the new mailbox. I fixed the lean of the mail post too. The new lettering arrives in a couple of weeks but I’m pretty happy with the new box already.

So was what happened overnight a good thing or a bad thing? My schedule just happened to be flexible yesterday. The mailbox I really wanted just happened to be in stock. I could do everything necessary myself – and now, I really like the mailbox. Sometimes, I think bad things happen to make way for the good things. That's my story and I'm sticking to it.

Goodbye Catalog Clutter: Six Month Recap

It’s been six months since I posted last about signing up with CatalogChoice and canceling every catalog that I had in the house at the time. Originally, I canceled 28 catalogs. The total number of catalogs that I tried to discontinue to date is 44. How did it go? Exceedingly well, I have to say!

I open my mailbox now and I only have bills, statements and personal notes for the most part. I don't need a huge bin from the Post Office to pick up my mail for the week when I am away. It's somewhat liberating.

A few observations on the process:

• There are a few catalogs that happily confirm the request and you never see another catalog from them in your mailbox again (like Crate and Barrel and Sur la Table).
• However, in my experience, most of the businesses do not confirm your request immediately. If you continue to receive the catalogs for six weeks after your initial request, you can request to opt out again. Eventually, most of the businesses get the message. There are a few catalogs for which I have had to request an opt-out more than twice. This is easily handled through CatalogChoice and requires only a few mouse clicks.
• There were a couple of catalogs that we received that would arrive with a new customer number after we opted out of the original customer number. Tricky. I’ve had to opt out of four different customer numbers for more than one catalog. Thankfully, they’ve stopped arriving as well. Persistence was required, however.
• There were a few catalogs that showed up as “Not participating” in the CatalogChoice program. These businesses are refusing to process opt-out requests through CatalogChoice. In these cases, CatalogChoice provides the phone number to call to verbally request to be taken off of the mailing lists. Of the 44 catalogs that I requested to no longer receive, there were only 4 that fall into this category: Macy’s (and you know I loathe Macy’s), Saks Fifth Avenue, The Country House and Fannie May (though I haven’t received a Fannie May catalog since I made the request).

Honestly, I rarely looked at the catalogs that made it to my mailbox. I never asked for them and I really didn’t have much use for them. If I want to see something, I pull it up online. My mailbox is seriously thankful to me for lightening its load. When I initially wrote about signing up with them, they had over a half-million members and its membership had collectively opted out of over 6 million catalogs. Today, the site boasts more than 963,000 members and reports that their membership has canceled over 12,600,000 catalogs. That’s a lot of resources no longer being wasted for marketing that wasn’t working in the first place.

If you’re even the least bit interested in cutting down your catalog clutter, you should consider giving CatalogChoice a try. No regrets here.

Small Bit on Beijing...

A few people have noticed that I did not post anything about my short visit to Beijing in March that was sandwiched in between Tokyo and Hong Kong. There's a definite reason for that. Sure, I posted some photos to my flickr pages but have been basically mum on the subject other than in person (when you will be sorry that it ever came up – just ask @geokitten78 and @Lora – sorry guys!) However, after hearing that a few people that I know and/or their parents are going to be making the trip there for the first time in order to attend the Olympics in a couple of weeks, I thought a few tips may be helpful.

The Hotel Card - If you are going to be traveling by taxi (and you should because it is usually cheap and quick during non-rush hours) you really need to pick up a business/translation card from your hotel concierge. It will have the hotel name as well as the names of the most visited sites in English and in Chinese as many taxi drivers (very understandably) do not understand English. A good hotel card will also have a small map on it depicting the hotel location as some drivers can’t read Chinese either (as I personally experienced). I also carried a good map of the city with me to point out locations.

Speaking of Taxis… - Taxi meters should be used. Outside some of the more popular tourist spots, you may find that the taxi drivers ALL want to quote you a fixed price to get from point A to point B. I went down an entire queue of waiting taxis outside the Temple of Heaven compound and not one of them would use the meter to get me to Tiananmen Square. They all wanted 90 CNY for a ride that shouldn’t even be 30 CNY on a meter. Similar thing happened outside of the Forbidden City. In both cases, walking a block and waving down a passing taxi got me a ride with a meter in use. (And these weren’t the black cars you’re not supposed to use either. They were legitimate metered taxis). Granted, what’s another $10 for the convenience of a taxi right there? But I really didn’t want to get into a cab with someone who wanted to scam me. Those kinds of folks don’t deserve my business. If everyone demanded the meter be used, they would quit their little operation and just use the meters. Clearly, somebody is paying up.

Lines Can Be Optional & They Push - Don’t be surprised when people rush to the front of what looks to be a queue and talk to the attendant to pay admission, etc. Where in the U.S. the attendant will usually point to the line of other people and not wait on a line-jumper, pushing to the front seems to pay in Beijing. If you notice that this is going on in a line in which you are standing, you probably should do the same, lest you be in that line much longer than you should. Don’t be surprised when you are at the front of what should be a queue and someone rudely pushes you to get to speak to the attendant. This happened to me almost everywhere I went and most notably at Beijing International Airport while the airline representative was holding my passport and checking me in for my flight to Hong Kong. Just be patient.

Yes, They’re Really All Spitting in Public - That sound you will hear constantly? That is indeed what it sounds like. Get used to it. You'd probably do the same if you breathed their air all year long too.

I could go on – but I will stop here and just suggest that you pack your patience and a couple of candy bars for emergencies. Oh - and remember to bring "clean" computers and electronics as your data may be at risk while you are there. Let's not forget, the People's Republic of China is a Communist country. Good luck.

Of All the Spots in the Garage...

We own 2 parking spaces in this garage. Both of them are occupied in this photo. The only problem is that the black car in the photo is not ours. Like they couldn't find another place to park. Gotta love it!

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Best Gift I Ever Gave Mom - Found It!

In 2006, I wrote a post about a mug I gave my mom when I was a kid. It was sexual in nature but neither I nor my mom realized this at first. She had used it at work for a week before anyone said anything to her. Oops. Well, I found the mug while sorting through things at my Mom's house while helping her move to a new place. I can kind of see how a kid may not see the bad stuff - but I'm not sure how an adult missed it. Ha. Here it is for your perusal:

And I Bared My Teeth…

I’m not a fan of public confrontations – especially over really trivial things. That being said, I don’t cower when someone is an arse to me. I’m not really wound very tightly – and usually let people ahead of me in lines at the grocery store when they have less in their carts than I do or when their child is getting fussy and they seem to need to get out of there faster than I do. If there’s any question as to whether someone else was at the deli counter before me, I usually just let him or her go because I’m not usually in any hurry. Yesterday at the deli counter, I had to bare my teeth.

The only people at the prepared foods counter were an elderly couple and I. There are no numbers to take at the counter but that has seriously never been a problem. The Whole Foods guy acknowledged me and let me know that he’d be right with me as soon as he finished up with the elderly couple. No problem. That’s just more time to peruse the gorgeous food behind the glass. A woman who looked to be in her 60’s walked up to the counter and started looking at the food as well. I didn’t pay much attention to her at all at first. When a new counter attendant appeared, I gave him my order. She gave me a very unfriendly look and sneered, “I was here first.” Needless to say, I was shocked by her nerve. I looked at her and said, “No, I was… but you can go ahead if it makes you feel better.” As the words came out of my mouth, I surprised myself. I really don’t like making people feel bad about themselves, but I didn’t hesitate when I said that to her. Nor did I restrain myself from making a face at her that on its own conveyed the thought, “You are pathetic and I know it.” She looked down and motioned for me to continue placing my order – which I did – one large container of chicken salad.

It makes me a bit sad to be reminded that there are unhappy people out there that just run around being arses to others because they can. Life may seem like a competition to a lot of people and you can tell who those people are by the way that they drive, the way they backstab others to get ahead or the way that they deal with queues. We all end up in the same place in the end, so what’s the freaking rush to get ahead of the guy next to you? How do people get so self-important that they see other people just as obstacles standing between them and their goals? That’s just pathetic.

Oh – and after I got home, I remembered where I had seen her previously. She’s a member at our club. Oh joy! No good can come of this.