Saturday, July 22, 2006

The Best Gift I Ever Gave Mom

My how times have changed! Somehow, I don't see this happening too much these days.

I went to the Oakbrook Mall with my aunt one day when I was about 12 to find a birthday present for my mom. I wasn't looking for anything big - just a small present to let her know that I didn't forget her on her birthday. We walked into a card shop and they had a wall of coffee mugs. There was a row of mugs that were each a different color and each had a different animal motif. It looked to me like the artist picked an animal for each of the mugs and tried to see how many of them he could squeeze onto each one. I thought my mom would like the dusty rose colored one best. It had a bunch of rhinos drawn all over it and I thought it looked pretty funny.

I presented it to her on her birthday and she was very pleased. She took it with her to her office and was going to use it immediately. I thought my present was quite the success.

It was a success -- until one day later in the week when she came home with it. She said she'd been so proud of her new coffee mug and that she was telling people about how her daughter gave her the new coffee mug. Then, that day, one of her staff-people pointed out to her what the rhinos were actually doing on that mug. They weren't drawn so closely for no reason -- they were in a rhino orgy! The rhinos were all in different sex positions with one another and upon close inspection, they were obviously having a really good time. So my mom was totally embarrassed and came home with the mug in disgrace. Mrs. Prim and Proper had been walking around the office with a rhino orgy mug for a week. Ugh. That's a kick in her gut. She got over it. She knew I didn't do it to her on purpose.

We still laugh about it today. I can't remember anything else I ever gave her for her birthday when I was a kid -- so that has to be the best gift I ever gave her. I think she still has the darn thing hidden away somewhere. I should look for it.

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