Friday, July 21, 2006

Can't Find a Better Man??

Folks that know me well know that I haven't always been very happy in romantic relationships. In fact, I've been completely miserable to the point of filing restraining orders. I think that everyone has their own luck in life and people are lucky in some ways and unlucky in others. I sound really happy now, but that definitely wasn't always the case. I was unlucky in that I was in a long relationship with a highly unstable individual who wouldn't let me break up with him. But yet I am lucky that I did finally get rid of him and never got bullied into marrying him during that time. I'm unlucky in the time that I spent in bad relationships -- but lucky that I never settled for a relationship that was just "fine" or "comfortable."

I've been thrown out of moving vehicles, cheated on, lied to and have been subjected to repeated verbal and emotional abuse. I've had windows and walls punched out at my apartment and have been lectured by a raving drunk maniac at close range. And that isn't half of it. I didn't leave because for some of that time, in my estimation, I couldn't leave safely. For some of that time though, I had Florence Nightingale syndrome. He was obviously sick in the head and needed help. The only one who was sick in the head at that time was me -- I was young and dumb. Did I not think that I deserved better? Did I not think that my time was being wasted on someone who was so obviously broken? Did I seriously think that I could fix him?

Hindsight is a marvelous thing. If I could go back and change things, I obviously wouldn't because there's no guarantee that I'd end up exactly where I am right now in my life -- and I love it here. But yet I wish someone would tell people who start dating that you just cannot expect to change anybody. Someone should tell them to expect to be treated well and break it off quickly if they are not. If there's something in a person's personality that you really want to change, just walk away. Take it or leave it. It's a package deal and people are all marked "AS IS." If you think you might deserve better, then you most certainly do. Settling or staying with someone you're trying to help is like giving up on yourself and your own life. If you're lucky, you can have a life of many years -- do you really want to spend it in a relationship that is just OK or one that is draining you? Who doesn't deserve better than that?

Can't find a better man (or woman)? Think again.

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